Hold off on giving advice

  Son: I’d like to punch that Uday in the nose! 

Father: Boy, you’re angry!

Son: I’d like to push his fat face in!

Father: You’re that mad at him!

Son: You know what that bully did? He grabbed my notebook at the bus stop and threw it in the dirt. And for no reason!

Father: Hmmm!

Son: I bet he thought I was the one who broke his dumb clay bird in the art room.

Father: You think so.

Son: Yeah, he kept looking at me all the time he was crying.

Father: Oh.

Son: But I didn’t break it. I didn’t!

Father: You know you didn’t.

Son: Well I didn’t do it on purpose! I couldn’t help it if that stupid Pawan pushed me in the

table.

Father: So Pawan pushed you.

Son: Yeah. A lot of things got knocked down, but the only thing that broke was the bird. I didn’t mean to break it. His bird was good.

Father: You really didn’t mean to break it.

Son: No, but he wouldn’t believe me.

Father: You don’t think he’d believed you if you told him the truth.

Son: I dunno... I’m gonna tell him anyway – whether he believes me or not. And I think he

should tell me he’s sorry for throwing my notebook in the dirt!

 Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare // Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

Lesson: Hold off on giving advice. It is tempting to try to solve a child’s problem with an immediate solution. For eg"

Ma I’m tired”, “Then lie down and rest”;

“I’m hungry”, “Then eat something”;

“I’m not hungry”, “Then don’t eat.”

Resist the temptation to “make better” instantly. Instead of giving advice, continue to accept and reflect your child’s feelings.

   

In the above case study, the father hadn’t asked him any questions, yet the child had told him the whole story. He hadn’t given one word of advice and yet the child had worked out his own solution. It seems unbelievable that one can be helpful to the child, if he just listens and acknowledges the child’s feelings.