Listening is an art
While addressing students of final year engineering, I asked them a question. My question was:
“You are driving a minibus. At first stop, 20 passengers get on the minibus. At next stop,
8 people get off the minibus and 10 people get on the minibus. What is the age of the driver?”
Some
of the answers were — about 50, about 40, do not know as the age is not
given in the question, like this, I received many wrong
answers and then I repeated the question again and after that I
received the right answer and that was their respective age.
One of my teachers asked once the following question:
If a black man marries a white lady and produces a baby, what will be the color of his teeth?
Everybody answered, of course, baby will have white teeth and teacher answered all of you are wrong as baby
will not have any teeth at the time of birth.
Once one of the trainers asked a class following question:
Munna
worked at a fish shop. His height was 5’6”, his waist was 36”. He
worked 10 hours a day and earned 100 Rs per day. What did he weigh?
Everybody started calculating
Munna’s weight by doing arithmetic and establishing relation between given digits. Then one person got up and said, “He weighed fish”. Ah! All students sighed. The question was not what his
weight was; it was what he weighed!
While teaching the students of
B.Tech 3rd year, I asked the question:-
A
farmer has five stacks of wheat in one field and 11 stacks of wheat in
another field. How many wheat stacks would he have if he
combined them all into one field?
All students answered, “It will be definitely 16”. I answered, “All of you are wrong. The correct answer is one stack as these had
been combined”.
Above questions and answers bring out the importance of active
listeningwhich is a structured way of listening and responding to others. It focuses attention on the speaker. Suspending your likes
& dislikes are important to focus on the speaker. Active listening involves the following:
Observe — non-verbal behavior
Focus — Do not do anything else
Acknowledge — Acknowledge the message
Acronym of LISTEN is given as under:-
T — Test your understanding
N — Neutralize your feelings
Every good conversation starts with good listening. It is pertinent to quote Stephen R Covey,
“Most people do not listen
With intent to understand,
They listen with intent to reply”
Listening and hearing are not the same. Listening is a conscious, active process with the mind. The Hearing is with senses..
Listening = Hearing + Focusing on message + Comprehending and Interpreting + Analyzing & Evaluating
We are given two ears but only one mouth because listening is twice as difficult as talking.
Active listening was given utmost importance in ancient India.
Thew Vedas used to be called as “Shruti”.
Vedas
were never printed as disciples learn by listening and chanting the
sutras of the same. Intense active listening was practiced
by all in day to day life in ancient India.
In
Mahabharat, there is an interesting story of Abhimanyu. While he was in his mother’s womb,
Arjuna explained the process of entering in the “Chakarvuh”
(Labyrinth) to Subhadra (Abhimanyu’s mother). The listening was so
intense
and active that Abhimanyu while in womb had also learnt the same but
unfortunately when he was explaining the process of breaking the
labyrinth (Chakarvyuh), Subhadra was not awake and that had resulted
very costly to Pandavas as Abhimanyu easily entered the
Chakarvyuh formed by
Kauravas
but as he was not knowing how to break it and move out of it, he was
killed.. The story brings out the importance of active listening.
There is another story from
Mahabharat itself which also brings out the importance of active listening. Krishna wanted that
Dronacharya who was fighting a ferocious battle should be killed and therefore he requested
Yudhisthir to announce “Ashwasthama
hato
naro va
kunjro” i.e., Ashwasthama had been killed whether human being or elephant.
Dronacharya heard the news of the death of his dearest son and stopped fighting and that is the time
Dhristdhumn killed
Dronacharya. This was the turning point of battle of
Mahabharat.
In
Vietnam War, the American army was fighting a fierce battle for
capturing a post. It was a battle where they fought tooth and nail
to capture the dominating piece of ground. They were fighting last man
last round battle. They requested for reinforcement on Radio
Telephony — “Send reinforcement on an Op-immediate basis”. But the person who received the message interpreted it wrongly
as “Send five dollar six cents on an op-immediate basis” and reinforcement was not dispatched and American lost the operation and posts too..
Above stories gives the lesson, “Success of an operation depends on good listening capability”.
Somebody has rightly said;
That other love to listen to you
That other love to speak to you”
