How should we deal with our relatives, wife, children?

Possessiveness means that you are meant to protect them on behalf of your guru and Krishna. They are not yours, they are not your slaves, and they are not your servants. You are their servant, you may have to train them, you may have to discipline them but in the mood of being their servant. Because they are Krishna’s children and Krishna has entrusted them and He has entrusted them to you. But they are His sacred property. Therefore you must always be in a mood of being the servant of all Vaishnavas, all family members, everyone. Sometimes we may have to serve them by disobediently following the order, Sometime you may have to serve them by disciplining them, by giving them instructions, But the mood is always service, there is nothing is yours. It is the sacred property of God, every devotee. The temple president is the servant of the people who are under him, he doesn’t think they are mine, they are my servants. He is serving them because they are his guru’s property. He must engage them in guru’s work. The father sees the children and the wife in the same spirit and the wife must see the husband and the children in the same spirit. This is an essential necessity of all our relationships, but nothing is ours. We are the masters over no one; this is ego and the servant. These people are my guru’s property, they are more precious than me. I have a great responsibility in my relationship with them.
We are not takers, we are givers. Even when we receive we are actually giving them the chance to serve, we are not taking something from them. When we expect something for someone, we should not expect it for ourselves; we should expect it for them. It’s like when you are a doctor when he expect someone to take medicines, is it for your good or his good? Devotional service is a medicine, if someone is serving you as the representative of the guru, we should not be expected for our self, and we should be expected for their benefit. It’s a medicine that will heal them. That should be our spirit. Therefore we are not attached, we have no personal attachment. But out of compassion we are diligently trying to engage them in their duty. A wife is meant to serve the husband, but the husband should not be proud thinking that she is serving me. By some inconceivable arrangement, I am supposed to be the representative of guru to this person. Therefore in serving me she is actually purifying her own existence because she is serving a guru. It’s not for me; I am not attached to what she gives me. I am only attached that she makes spiritual advancement. Then you are always in a mood of a servant, not an enjoyer. This we must cultivate, this consciousness being the servant of the servant.