Art of Listening

 Listening is an art

I listen with my ears,

Eyes and heart

While addressing students of final year engineering, I asked them a question. My question was:

“You are driving a minibus. At first stop, 20 passengers get on the minibus. At next stop, 8 people get off the minibus and 10 people get on the minibus. What is the age of the driver?”

Some of the answers were — about 50, about 40, do not know as the age is not given in the question, like this, I received many wrong answers and then I repeated the question again and after that I received the right answer and that was their respective age.

One of my teachers asked once the following question:

If a black man marries a white lady and produces a baby, what will be the color of his teeth?

Everybody answered, of course, baby will have white teeth and teacher answered all of you are wrong as baby will not have any teeth at the time of birth.

Once one of the trainers asked a class following question:

Munna worked at a fish shop. His height was 5’6”, his waist was 36”. He worked 10 hours a day and earned 100 Rs per day. What did he weigh?

Everybody started calculating Munna’s weight by doing arithmetic and establishing relation between given digits. Then one person got up and said, “He weighed fish”. Ah! All students sighed. The question was not what his weight was; it was what he weighed!

While teaching the students of B.Tech 3rd year, I asked the question:-

A farmer has five stacks of wheat in one field and 11 stacks of wheat in another field. How many wheat stacks would he have if he combined them all into one field?

All students answered, “It will be definitely 16”. I answered, “All of you are wrong. The correct answer is one stack as these had been combined”.

Above questions and answers bring out the importance of active listeningwhich is a structured way of listening and responding to others. It focuses attention on the speaker. Suspending your likes & dislikes are important to focus on the speaker. Active listening involves the following:

Observe — non-verbal behavior

Focus — Do not do anything else

Acknowledge — Acknowledge the message

Acronym of LISTEN is given as under:-

L — Look interested

I — Involve totally

S — Stay focused

T — Test your understanding

E — Evaluate the message

N — Neutralize your feelings

Every good conversation starts with good listening. It is pertinent to quote Stephen R Covey,

“Most people do not listen

With intent to understand,

They listen with intent to reply”

Hearing vs. listening:-

Listening and hearing are not the same. Listening is a conscious, active process with the mind. The Hearing is with senses..

Listening = Hearing + Focusing on message + Comprehending and Interpreting + Analyzing & Evaluating

We are given two ears but only one mouth because listening is twice as difficult as talking.

Active listening was given utmost importance in ancient India. Thew Vedas used to be called as “Shruti”.

Vedas were never printed as disciples learn by listening and chanting the sutras of the same. Intense active listening was practiced by all in day to day life in ancient India.

In Mahabharat, there is an interesting story of Abhimanyu. While he was in his mother’s womb, Arjuna explained the process of entering in the “Chakarvuh” (Labyrinth) to Subhadra (Abhimanyu’s mother). The listening was so intense and active that Abhimanyu while in womb had also learnt the same but unfortunately when he was explaining the process of breaking the labyrinth (Chakarvyuh), Subhadra was not awake and that had resulted very costly to Pandavas as Abhimanyu easily entered the Chakarvyuh formed by Kauravas but as he was not knowing how to break it and move out of it, he was killed.. The story brings out the importance of active listening.

There is another story from Mahabharat itself which also brings out the importance of active listening. Krishna wanted that Dronacharya who was fighting a ferocious battle should be killed and therefore he requested Yudhisthir to announce “Ashwasthama hato naro va kunjro” i.e., Ashwasthama had been killed whether human being or elephant. Dronacharya heard the news of the death of his dearest son and stopped fighting and that is the time Dhristdhumn killed Dronacharya. This was the turning point of battle of Mahabharat.

In Vietnam War, the American army was fighting a fierce battle for capturing a post. It was a battle where they fought tooth and nail to capture the dominating piece of ground. They were fighting last man last round battle. They requested for reinforcement on Radio Telephony — “Send reinforcement on an Op-immediate basis”. But the person who received the message interpreted it wrongly as “Send five dollar six cents on an op-immediate basis” and reinforcement was not dispatched and American lost the operation and posts too..

Above stories gives the lesson, “Success of an operation depends on good listening capability”.

Somebody has rightly said;

“Speak in such a way

That other love to listen to you

Listen in such a way

That other love to speak to you”